


Giving It Up

by Singing_Violin



Series: Singing Violin's J/C drabbles [46]
Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Angst, F/M, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-02
Updated: 2014-09-02
Packaged: 2018-02-15 21:45:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2244480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Singing_Violin/pseuds/Singing_Violin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The admiral lied to the captain in "Endgame": she does remember why she gave up coffee. Quadruple drabble (400 words).</p>
            </blockquote>





	Giving It Up

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: The Star Trek characters and universe are not mine.

"I don't know why I ever gave this up."

It was a little white lie. The captain didn't need to know. But the admiral remembered it vividly.

_"It's too much," he said, grabbing the mug away from her hand. "You're irritable and your judgment is impaired. You need sleep, not caffeine."_

_She seethed, grabbing it back and spitting her words into his face. "I'll decide what I need, Commander. Dismissed."_

_Shaking his head sadly at her, he left._

She'd half expected him to sick the Doctor on her. He hadn't. As always, he'd respected her wishes, but he'd been right.

The more she drank, the more they fought.

And then he died.

After his death, even the smell turned her stomach.

Once, when an ensign had passed by her with a steaming cup, smiling and saluting, she'd just lost it. Snapped. Yelled at the ensign for some minor infraction she didn't even remember. And then she'd raced to her quarters and thrown up, again and again, tears streaming down her face as finally she slumped to the ground, her back sliding down the wall.

She'd half expected someone to show up and help her off the floor, but the one person who might have done so was gone. Forever. Because of her.

The tears began anew as she forced herself to her feet and staggered to her bed.

It was some time before the rawness of it faded and she could be in the room with someone else imbibing the once-cherished beverage. But not before now did she consider drinking it.

Maybe it was him. His presence made it all okay. Although she knew he wasn't from her timeline, it was a great comfort to her to have him near. She'd missed him terribly.

The hot, bitter liquid scalded her throat as it slipped down her esophagus. She watched her younger self enjoying it, and began to remember what simple pleasure was like.

She could only hope that the captain would listen to wisdom this time.

As the caffeine hit her in a head rush she hardly remembered, the admiral reconsidered telling the captain what she knew.

 _No_ , she reaffirmed. _She doesn't need to know. She'll figure it out. I hope._

The admiral set down her cup and smiled over at her younger self, utterly enraptured. _This_ , the admiral resolved. _This is what I will remember vividly from now on._


End file.
